That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
