i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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