this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
