I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
