I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
