Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
