Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its not stalking. its research.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
