i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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