I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
