I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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