please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
