You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
