It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
