Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
