DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
