Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Congratulations! We have a period
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