Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
