It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
