So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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