Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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