I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize