I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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