allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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