it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
