SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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