Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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