Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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