Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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