so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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