$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
