So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
