You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
