Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
