Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
