she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
