Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
