apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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