Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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