Cold hands, warm shart.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
wow bdsm is so cute
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
