He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
