Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
