so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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