So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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