there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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