All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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