well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
