why didn't you poke me back
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
