I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
