So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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