My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
