its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
